so you think you can dance

this is sick

clipped from www.youtube.com Week 1- Robert Muraine The Great- So You Think You Can Dance

old man sperm test

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor to give a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth,first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing" The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get that darn jar open."

Taps

Words to Taps (Note: there are no "official" words to Taps below are the most popular.) Day is done, gone the sun, From the hills, from the lake, From the skies. All is well, safely rest, God is nigh. Go to sleep, peaceful sleep, May the soldier or sailor, God keep. On the land or the deep, Safe in sleep. Love, good night, Must thou go, When the day, And the night Need thee so? All is well. Speedeth all To their rest. Fades the light; And afar Goeth day, And the stars Shineth bright, Fare thee well; Day has gone, Night is on. Thanks and praise, For our days, 'Neath the sun, Neath the stars, 'Neath the sky, As we go, This we know, God is nigh.

Mothers Day

M... is for the million things she gave me, O... means only that she's growing old, T... is for the tears she shed to save me, H... is for her heart of purest gold; E... is for her eyes, with love-light shining, R... means right, and right she'll always be. Put them all together, they spell "MOTHER," A word that means the world to me.

I am going home